Defining Grace by Laura Miller

My sister, Sarah was talking to someone about my daughter with Asperger’s some years ago. The person hadn’t heard of it before and asked what it was. Sarah was at a loss in how to describe it. She didn’t want to get it wrong, so she called me and asked, “Laura, how do you describe Grace & her Asperger’s?”

That rendered me speechless. Every once in a while you have these moments. The kind that hit you in heart. You want to get it right. You want to educate people on a condition that is a part of your child’s life. Yet, you don’t want to. You don’t want to define your child by medical terms.

You want to answer “My daughter is beautiful inside and out. She has this AMAZING personality that brings me smiles.” I want to tell them about her unique bond she has her dog, Kindy. How I let her paint her own bedroom walls and what amazing butterflies and rainbow she made. I want to tell them of her passion for Superman.

I know I should be prepared with a “my child’s has” speech, but I’m not. A text book would tell you she has to have so many characteristics to qualify for the Asperger’s diagnosis. But my child changes by the month, week, day and sometimes moment. She is a whirling tornado of unpredictable that can bring me from tears of laughter to those of frustration in seconds. She is loveable and untouchable. She struggles with everyday things and she missed many milestones. She may never tell time from an analog clock or multiply without a calculator. I have learned to stop looking at the might nots. They aren’t as important as the amazing things she has accomplished already that we never thought she would.